You know what I’m sick of? Academic-minded folk who forget social norms when attempting to engage with you in a meaningful political conversation. They’ve got the whole active-listening facade down, and the, “we’re engaging in a meaningful dialogue” routine nailed but then they focus on some bullshit minutiae and alienate the person they’re talking to and end, therefore, any chance of real change/persuasion/perspective-taking/a truly meaningful exchange.

Language is important. I get that, I feel that. But, give a little leeway. Come on! Don’t jump down someone’s throat because they aren’t speaking in an uber-pc, guarded, academic manner. In fact, praise them for feeling safe enough to share their real feelings, gently find a way to model your language expectations. At the very least, use a kind and respectful tone (not an accusatory judgmental one) if you do decide to “correct” them. Or, better yet–listen to their meaning, don’t focus so intensely on how they’re saying things.

We all have different linguistic norms, a variety of cultural conventions. How can you possibly shame someone for their cultural insensitivity while simultaneously doing the same with your words? It is infuriating. I watch this dynamic play out time and time again. Typically between a well-meaning do-gooder (a non profit, an advocacy group, a professor or graduate student–or, worse, an undergrad, ugh) and a layperson. You know, someone who is not an expert in whatever field the do-gooder is an expert in. Education, technology, women’s rights, immigration, healthcare, whatever…it could be anything. Those are just some areas in which I have seen an alarming amount of hostility amongst “experts.”

Just have a conversation, for gods sake. Just be a human and talk in a real way where you aren’t just waiting to make someone feel inferior.

Rant over.